consider this a jumble of words.

feeling as though there is more to life. my step dad, step sister, and my mother have been talking about going on vacation to a far away land full of sunshine and alcohol. they have also been jokingly, but seriously talking about selling everything, and moving to a far away land with you guessed it, sunshine and alcohol. hmmm, it really has been striking me. there is an entire world to explore, so why are we doing everything on our own and confiding ourselves to our little towns of selfish, greedy, broken people. but even worse then that, why are we thinking about moving, also known as running, away to another land of selfishness, greed, and brokeness? are we not called by our Lord to help those in need? God never once said, "go to jamaica, and leave those in canada." no no no, it doesn't matter where we are; we are a light, wherever we are, and thats a fact.

i am so struck with questions of my life. i am graduating a year early, meaning i will be done this june. school has literally been my life since i can remember; waking up, going to a 'jail' for those who don't fit in, and a 'heaven' for those who everyone admires. now, im being thrown into worse; life. but i really shouldn't think of it as worse because now, i have an entire life ahead of me. a life with the world at my doorsteps, except, i dont know if ill ever be called to step out past the door frame. i am so very excited to see Gods plan slowly, but surely, unfold. i guess its a matter of time, which by the way, is so overrated. we have one life to live, one God to live for. doesn't it make sense to put two and two together?

well, school starts tomorrow. i guess i can start the countdown; 60 days to go.